"The Gods Jam"
from Horror of Party Beach
Lyrics: Best Brains
Music: Michael J. Nelson
Performed by Lisa Fuglie
Transcribed by Matthew Olson
[Roman setting]
OBSERVER: So I said to Jupiter, "You know that Saturn -- he's a different kind of god."
CALLIPYGEAS: Ha ha ha... It's a different kind of god... More wine? Good, good. It's from Gaul, you know. You might say it's from "conquered" grapes. Ha ha!
OBSERVER: Open a window...
CALLIPYGEAS: We invented the pun, you know.
PEARL: Is that right?
FLAVIA: Goddess Apearlo, um, from what part of the Empirium do you dwell, generally?
PEARL: Uh, the suburbs?
[awkward pause]
FLAVIA: Oh.
CALLIPYGEAS: Ha ha, I believe Pliny speaks of the suburbs of the gods...
FLAVIA: And what are your godly gifts? Earthquake, fire from the sky? Music, perhaps?
PEARL: Yes, music, music, yes...
FLAVIA: Ah, well, do, do favor us with a song. Lyre.
PEARL: What did you just call me? [Flavia holds up lyre] Oh, of course. Brainguyus, why don't you take the autoharp here, and I will take the gourd with a stick... [whispering] Help me, I can't play a lick!
OBSERVER: [whispering back] Just smile and play along. I'll save your bacon again. [resuming normal volume] Alright then, what shall we start with today? Maybe a bit of "Bitter Dregs" huh?
CALLIPYGEAS: Sure.
OBSERVER: Uh, we'll just jam and see what happens. Okay then.
[fiddling starts, playing a hoedown]
OBSERVER: Okay then.
PEARL: Here we go...
OBSERVER: We're going...
CALLIPYGEAS: Bye Jove, ha ha, truly this is the music of the gods! Wahoo! Ha ha! Come, let us dance.
FLAVIA: No, Callipygeas.
[begin playing "Seasons in the Sun"]
CALLIPYGEAS: [whispering] Come on, Flavia, it's the gods...
[they start dancing]
OBSERVER: Hoedown!
PEARL: Everybody!
[start playing "Hoe Down" from Aaron Copland's Rodeo, a.k.a. the "Beef, it's what's for dinner" song]
OBSERVER: In Asia Minor, it's a Spicy Beef Salad. In Pompeii, Sizzling Beef Potstickers. In Iconia, a rich kettle of Beef Stew. In Gaul, it's rich Beef Chateau Briand.
CALLIPYGEAS: Demigods, join us.
[on SOL]
TOM: Beef. It's what's for movie sign!
MIKE: Ahh, we got movie sign.
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