"Joey the Lemur"
from King Dinosaur
Transcribed by Ryan Franklin, Jason Corley and Lisa Jenkins
[On the satellite:]
JOEL: I wrote a song and sketch about the lemur.
TOM: All right. [clears throat]
It's Joey the Lemur, the friend to mankind,
Our furry sort of monkey friend who really does shine.
JOEL: Joey the Lemur, he's really fun to have around to
huggle and talk to and fun fun fun!
CROW: Joey the Lemur, he'll run everywhere.
Joey the Lemur, what kind of heck of animal is he anyway?
Umh uh...Joey the Lemur, the kind of animal that would go to
JOEL: Wait a minute, hold it!
JOEL: Just hold it.
CROW: But there's more!
JOEL: That's okay.
JOEL: This is the lemur. Native to the Philippines and
Madagascar, uh...and fictional planets like
Nova. Uh...he is a clean, gregarious, and good pet.
JOEL: [as lemur] You said it, pal! Oh boy, pal of mine, you're
the one for me!
TOM: Uh oh, Joel's swinging into his puppet routine!
JOEL: [as lemur] Hey! Can it, fireplug! I've had enough out of
JOEL: [as lemur] I've got a story to tell.
TOM: --the Lemur, he'll say what he thinks
JOEL: [as lemur] Oh boy, will I ever, I'll carry on like a
Gilbert Gottfried of the animal world, I don't mind telling
you. You know, I'm the clown prince of the primate
world who's often uh, who's often mistaken for our friend
the chimpanzee. But don't make any mistake, I'm not saying
anything wrong about our chimpanzee brethren, only that I
wish--here's wishing they'd throw a little more work our
way, all right?
CROW: Lemur, the lemur, L-E-M-U-R. Uh, I--hey!
JOEL: [as lemur] Hey, who's this bird-dog-thing, I don't like
TOM: L is for LEMUR!
JOEL: [as lemur] L is for lemur, 'nuff said!
CROW: E is for EAT!
JOEL: [as lemur] E is for eat. I eat four times my own weight in
nuts and berries, which has its consequences, but go figure!
CROW: M is for MONKEY!
JOEL: [as lemur] Monkey. I'm often mistaken for a monkey. It
goes with the turf. Let's go!
TOM: U is for UNUSUAL!
CROW: And UNPREDICTABLE!
JOEL: [as lemur] Unpredictable is right! I once took a whiz on
Johnny Carson's sportcoat--I don't panel well. Okay, on with the show!
TOM: R is for RADICAL!
CROW: And RAMBUNCTIOUS!
JOEL: [as lemur] Randy as a jackrabbit, that's me alright!
TOM: Yes, it's the splendiferous lemur....
CROW: ...friend to all mankind!
JOEL: [as lemur] Please consider me as a possible corporate
symbol or mascot suitable and fine for any professional or
semi-professional sport team.
CROW & TOM: It's the (CROW: magnificent/TOM: splendiferous)
JOEL: [as lemur] I, the lemur, beg you to consider me. I am
willing to travel and would make an excellent companion to
any elderly or unelderly...elderly person. Gentlemen, please
consider me. Thank you. Won't you? Thank you.
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