"Danger to Ourselves and Others" from Attack of the Giant Leeches
Music: Michael J. Nelson & Joel Hodgson Transcribed by Brian O'Connor and Christopher Schumann
[On the satellite:]

JOEL: Bring it down there, Gypsy. Ya know, Silas, it's not easy being a social misfit and then getting the added responsibility of dragnetting the swamp for missing townsfolk. And I can't even button my own shirt.

TOM: Yeah, I hear ya, Gunther. Now isn't it amazing how we inferior types keep getting asked to do the dangerous work which should go to men more stable than us? Really is a miracle! He huu! Hooter?

CROW: Uh, duh, yep! Uh wagnets. Hahaha.

JOEL: Whadda he say, Silas?

TOM: Well, I think what our bright young friend's trying to say here is the reason we three goofuses are asked to do these hazardous tasks outside the perimeter of normal society's rationale is, we're a danger to ourselves and others.

[music starts]

JOEL: Hu da! Kinda reminds me of Darwin's theory of Natural Selection.

CROW: Yeah! If you're dumb--ya DIE!

[all laugh]

TOM: That's, I say, that's a rich one there, Hooter!

Oh, I'm a danger to myself and others.
My cousins are as close as brothers.
I stay out in the rain all the time!

CROW: He's a danger to himself and others.
Only likes shows with Sally Struthers.
I can't even think of a word that rhymes.

TOM: Ya just did!

JOEL: How dumb are you Uncle-Dad?

TOM: Well pretty dumb, that's for sure!

CROW: How dumb are you Uncle-Dad?

TOM: Well this pipe's filled with manure!

ALL: We're a danger to ourselves and others.
Screw the earth and steal our mothers.
Leave us in the woods and we're just fine.
We're a danger to ourselves and others.
Good livestock with better lovers.
Hunting leeches is what we call a good time!

[Joel throws dynamite.]

BOOM! BOOM!

TOM: Oh Boy! I'd like to shake hands with any Giant Leeches after that.

CROW: What? The dynamite or that crappy song?

TOM: He he huee.

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