--- MST 3000 Songs! ---

"Godzilla Genealogy Bop"
from Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster

Transcribed by (jka@math.ufl.edu) and Lisa Jenkins

[In the satellite:]

CROW: Joel?

JOEL: Yeah.

CROW: Joel! Jo--

JOEL: Uh, over here, yeah.

CROW: Oh, there you are. Uh, I'm confused. Uh, Just who is this Godzilla guy?

TOM: Yes, wise one. Please, teach us.

JOEL: I don't know if you're ready for this.

TOM: [at same time as Crow] Oh, please Mr. Joel. Please! Come on. Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!

CROW: [at same time as Servo] Oh, please! Please! Pleeeeease!

JOEL: Okay, my little robot friends, but we only pass this way once. This is called the "Godzilla Genealogy Bop." Would you hit it, Professor Cambot?

[music starts]

In order to know Godzilla, we've got to look into his past.

CROW: You know studying genealogy is gonna be a blast.

JOEL: Ah, you've got it little robot pal, we're swinging into high.

TOM: Come on, let's cut to the chase you couple of geeks, and get to the family tree!

CROW: Huh?

JOEL: Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released.

TOM: Oh, like--

TOM & CROW: --baby alligators and other nasty beasts?

JOEL: Right. The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times their size.

TOM: Oh.

CROW: Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous thighs!

JOEL: Right.

TOM: Ah!

JOEL: Now you're getting it little buddy--


JOEL: --but now we must move on.

TOM: Uh huh.

JOEL: Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-bomb.

TOM: Yeah. Look, there's Aunty Ness from Scotland's Loch, they married in the spring. And their first-born was Godzookie, and now we begin to sing!

[in background]

Bop be du-bop! Be du-bidie du be du bop....

[you got the picture....]

CROW: Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars. He had an affair with Lorna Lufts and smoked a big cigar.

TOM: And outta the lust of the Lufts affair Ron Pearlman resulted.


JOEL: You know, surgery was considered for him, but nobody was consulted! Oh, I did it again.

CROW: Then Ron met Yoko Ono, and they began to spawn a couple of hundred horrible things as green as Forest Lawn.

TOM: There they are: there's Kermit the Frog, the Swamp Thing, Hulk, and Ernest Borgnine too!

CROW: But Ernest Borgnine isn't green!

TOM: Well put him on a boat and he is!


TOM: Hey! Who's that at the bottom, a-wallowin' in his shame?

CROW: Oh, that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame.

TOM: Huh.

JOEL: To wrap it up, the worst mutation...

CROW: No, you don't suppose?!

TOM: Oh yes it is, the horror of horrors--

ALL: --Karl Malden's nose!

TOM & CROW: Ohhhh nooooo!

JOEL: We got movie--commercial sign on top.

CROW: Dig it.

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