"The Janitor Song" from Teenage Strangler
Transcribed by Alana Olson
[On the Satellite: Mike holding mop, 'Bots dressed like schoolboys]

CROW: This is gonna be the best Thanksgiving break ever.

TOM: Oh, you betcha. I can't wait to get home. Oh, goodbye Mr. Schlotsky!

CROW: Goodbye!

MIKE: Goodbye Kids!

The bell has rung, school is out
The kids have all gone home.
All I do is sweep and pout
I'm left here all alone.
I make sure the hallways are gleaming
I keep all the garbage at bay.
But inside my heart will be screaming,
How did I end up this way?
I'm a janitor, a janitor,
I clean up the puke at your school.
A large fistful of sawdust
Is my essential tool.
I'm a janitor, a janitor,
I start work early each morn.
I have a drinking problem
And a large collection of porn.
I'm a janitor, a janitor,
I'm looked on as kind of a leech.
But at least I get more respect than
The ones who have to teach.

CROW & TOM: He's a janitor, a janitor
Please don't sell him short
If you get him too mad

MIKE: I'll show you my disgusting wart.

CROW & TOM: He's a janitor.

MIKE: Yeah, I'm a janitor

CROW & TOM: A janitor.

MIKE: You got a problem with that?

CROW & TOM: He needs to be loved and respected
He once dated Josephine the plumber.

MIKE: And guess what, yeah, I was rejected.

CROW: Go figure.

CROW & TOM: He's a janitor.

MIKE: A janitor

CROW & TOM: A janitor

MIKE: Yeah, I'm a janitor.

CROW & TOM: We both think he's pretty keen.
I hope you liked our presentation.

ALL: Now back to Deep 13.

TOM: What do you think sirs?

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