"Love Pads the Film" from The Sidehackers
Transcribed by Lisa Jenkins
[On the satellite:]

JOEL: [carries in keyboard] Oh, brother!

TOM: Boy! What a depressing film!

CROW: Yeah! Talk about nihilism. That's the second film in a row that had the hero die in the end.

TOM: Boy, we're never gonna snap outta this existential dilemma.

JOEL: [begins to play keyboard] Oh, I was afraid this would happen, so I brought this thing along.

TOM: Joel, why was the movie so BAD?!

CROW: Yeah! It was cool in the beginning with the sidehacking, then it went right down the drain and they had to pad out the rest of the film with all that killing.

JOEL: Oh, no, Crow. It wasn't killing that padded out the film.

CROW: Huh?

JOEL: Only love pads the film.

[sings]

When stories were young
And dreams were not done
A sorrow was so far away.
A storybook scene
With songs to be sung
And life--life was just for today.

TOM: Oh, Joel!

JOEL: But nothing lasts forever.
Only love pads the film.
Of all the dreams you'll treasure
Only love--love pads the film.

TOM: Joel, may I?

JOEL: Please.

TOM: The love that you made
Were two hearts in one.
Our flowers still blow in the wind.

Crow.

CROW: You give all you take--
A day in the sun--
But even the sun must descend.

JOEL: Everybody, now. Come on.

CROW: Ta-da!

ALL: But nothing lasts forever.

GYPSY: Forever.

ALL: Only love--

GYPSY: Only love--

ALL: --pads the film.

GYPSY: --pads the film.

ALL: Of all the dreams you've treasured--

GYPSY: Treasured--

ALL: Only love--

GYPSY: Only love--

ALL: --love pads the film.

GYPSY: --pads the film.

TOM: Oh, Gyps--

JOEL: We may--the scientists are calling
And now we'd better get going.

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