--- MST 3000 Songs! ---

"Michael Feinstein's Gamera"
from Gamera vs. Guiron

Transcribed by Amanda Cameron and Lisa Jenkins

[In Deep 13:]

[Closeup of sign announcing:

   Appearing tonite in Deep 13
Michael Feinstein
"Just Cole Porter
...and Me"

Piano plays as camera pans away from sign.]

FEINSTEIN: Anyway, he got his start getting cigarettes to Agnus Demille, if you can believe that.

FRANK: Oh, ho, ho!

FEINSTEIN: But, anyway, back to my original story which was that I think Oscar Hamerstein spent TWO WEEKS up at his buck county farm writing the lyrics to "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning." And he labored over it and he turns it over to Dick Rogers who sits down and promptly--in ten minutes, mind you--writes the melody. And I don't have to tell you two gentlemen that American musical theater was never quite the same thing.

FRANK: What a WONDERFUL story!

DR. FORRESTER: Uh, tell us that story about Cole Porter again.

FRANK: Oh, please do!

FEINSTEIN: Should I? Really? Okay. Well, Cole Porter, in, during his horse-riding accident, well, he was laying in the middle of the woods with his legs crushed, yelling for help, he decided to write "The Long Last Love."

FRANK: Oh, no!

FEINSTEIN: That's a true story, but what a lot of people don't know is that the lyrics were altered for its Broadway opening, yes. And the original lyrics went something like this:

[Plays a haunting tune.]

Very tender.

[Pounds on piano.]

Oh my God! I'm in so much pain! Somebody please help me! Somebody come and save me!

FRANK: What an ENCHANTING anecdote!

DR. FORRESTER: They don't write them like that anymore, do they?

FEINSTEIN: They certainly do not.

DR. FORRESTER: How does the Gamera theme song stack up against songs from yesteryear?

FEINSTEIN: Oh, it's interesting you should ask that because the opening lyric of the Gamera theme song has sort of a Rogers and Hart feel to it. Let me show you what I mean.

[plays piano and sings]


[plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk]


[tra la la la, tra la la la]

Gamera is really neat.
Gamera is filled with meat.
We all love you, Gamera.

But then the second part is a little more fun. It has a sort of George and Ira Gershwin feel to it.


It sort of sneaks up on you. "Boo," it says.

[plays piano and sings]

Gamera's enchantment still grows.
He fills our hearts with love.
Gamera's the latest thing.
He fills our hearts with spring, spring, spring!
Anytime you want some moonbeams,


Gamera is the thing.

[plays piano and sings]

Gamera is really neat,
He is filled with turtle meat.
We all love you, GAMERA!!!

DR. FORRESTER: Ah! Kill him. Better yet, I'll kill him. You push the button. [Picks up large mallet as Frank goes to push the button.]

Back to the MST3k Songs! or return to Simply Moist
Maintained by Taliesin