--- MST 3000 Songs! ---

"Slow the Plot Down"
from Mighty Jack

Transcribed by Lisa Jenkins

[On the satellite:]

TOM: [in background] Arr! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

JOEL: Well, me blimy buckos, the movie's over, the pain is past and I feel like singing a plot shanty. Be lively now, me Bonnie Raitts. Ah!

ALL: Oh! Slow the plot down, laddie,
Slow the plot down.
Way-hey! Slow the plot down.
We'll scuttle the story and run 'er a-ground.
We'll try so hard to slow the plot down.

JOEL: Okay, now. Who can tell me their favorite scene from the movie so far?

TOM: Oh, sure!

JOEL: Tom? Go ahead.

TOM: There was a--there was a, um, da, uh...argh!

CROW: Ah!

ALL: Oh! Slow the plot down, laddie,
Slow the plot down.
Way-hey! Slow the plot down
With German, Italian and Japanese clowns.
We'll try so hard to slow the plot down.

JOEL: Okay. Well, how 'bout you--how 'bout you, Crow? You must be full to bursting--

CROW: Huh?

JOEL: --with some fond memories of today's movie. Come on--think hard!

CROW: Oh, ah, uh, um.

TOM: Brother.

CROW: Uh, ah, geez, Joel. I'm drawing a blank!

TOM: Yeah, me too.

CROW: I, ah, um. Oh! I remember vaguely a guy locked--locked in a room with another guy and someone...running....

TOM: Oh!

CROW: Arr! Arr! Arr!

ALL: Oh! We'll make you a movie
That's long and immense.
Way-hey! Slow the plot down.
Just give us a script that makes
No friggin' sense!
We'll try so hard to slow the plot down!

JOEL: Well, come on, you guys. I can remember--I for one--in vivid detail--a frog man who, uh. Just who is--who's Mighty Jack, anyway?

TOM: Oh! Wow! It just hit me! I remember! The scene where Queequag sits motionless on the deck meditating foretelling the death of the crew--

CROW: Oh! Yeah! Yeah! And then Scout sees Adicka shoot the mad dog in the street and Alex
goes to the comes--

JOEL: I--I remember. And then Patrick Swayze walks in and says--

ALL: "It's my way or the highway."

CROW: Ha, ha!

JOEL: Ha, ha!

TOM: Arr!

JOEL: Come on, guys.

CROW: Oh! My brain hurts!

TOM: Joel, I'm so confused!

JOEL: It's really not that bad, you guys. I for one actually feel like I just got done listening to two hours of Lou Reed's metal machine music.

TOM: Hey!

JOEL: You know, my brain feels clean as a whistle!

CROW: And that's pretty good!

JOEL: Yeah! It is!

TOM: That's not bad! Let's take it home, boys!

JOEL: Okay!

ALL: Slow the plot down, laddie,
Slow the plot down.
Way-hey! Slow the plot down.
Just scuttle the story and run 'er a-ground.
We'll try so hard to slow the plot down!

TOM: Arr!

JOEL: Arr! Me blimy overlords, what-a think-y? Arr!


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